I'm by no means an expert on the matter, but, I was on match.com for several months and went on my fair share of good and bad dates. Plus, I'm engaged and have a baby with someone whom I met online! So, I obviously did something right! Took me awhile though. Read this, and don't make the same mistakes I did!
1. First and foremost, don't be embarrassed about online dating.
Everyone is doing it, and if they say they aren't, they are lying. In this day and age, it's the norm. A stranger is a stranger no matter if you meet him online, at the park, or in a bar. The only difference is seeing the person, in person, which yes, helps a lot with chemistry. But, with online dating, you get the perks of knowing all the "basics" right off. Like, does he want to have kids? Is he Christian? Does he make a shit ton of money?
2. Only date guys with multiple photos, including full body shots, and preferably dressed. Same goes for you too!
I once went out with a guy who only had head shots on his profile. Well, turns out his head was drastically smaller than the rest of his body. It was odd, and definitely a turn off. I called him pea head, to my friends of course. May have been shallow of me, but I think it's only fair to know exactly what you are getting. Request a full (recent) body shot, if there isn't one. That way you will know if he's short, tall, fat, or skinny. No surprises.
3. Stay away from guys who take pictures of themselves in the mirror.
(got this amazing example online)
He probably doesn't have any friends and thus had no one to take his picture for him. Okay, I'm jumping to conclusions. But, it's super cheesy, especially when they are shirtless, flexing their muscles. To be honest, I've never seen a self-portrait I've liked, so this ban applies to you too ladies! I'm sure you have a pretty picture on your computer you can upload. If you don't, you might consider getting a life.
4. It's ok to initialize contact with a wink, but leave it at that.
Just because you are looking for love on the computer, doesn't mean chivalry has to be obsolete. Let the man make the first move by contacting you with an email. Or, wink at him to let him know you are interested. If he winks back, without sending an email, then kick him to the curb. He is obviously lazy, the worse quality a man can possibly possess. To sum it up, if he winks at you, wink back, and wait for an email. If you wink at him, and he winks back and never sends an email, then he is a bona fide loser.
5. If interested in one another, try to meet in person, immediately.
Don't shoot the shit too much over email and phone. Anyone can get along using those means of communication. It won't be until you see him in person whether or not you have any chemistry. So tell him you aren't very good at emailing back and forth and would prefer to get to know each other over coffee. And make sure it's JUST coffee. (see tip #6)
6. The first date should only be coffee or something similar.
Don't plan to go to dinner, then dancing, then to an after party, with someone you've never even met! I made this mistake and had to fake an allergy attack to get out of it!
Just because you hit it off on the computer/phone, doesn't mean you are going to like him when you see him in person. Sorry if I come across as shallow, but we fall in love based on initial attraction, and pheromones. You have to see someone, to fall in love with them. I know there are a few cases where people claim to have fallen in love without even meeting, but come on, that's fairytale BS. So, trust me, don't waste your night on someone who you might never talk to again, and just go have some coffee!
7. Don't bring your wallet.
Whatever, call me what you want, a gold digger, shallow Hal, blah blah blah. I'm none of those. If I were, I would say go out for an expensive dinner and let him pay! But rather, I'm saying go out for coffee and let him pick up the $2.50. If he can't afford that, then he can't afford you. Period. Not that you're for sale, but you know what I mean. I've been a guys sugar momma before, and it ain't fun. Driving him around town, paying for his dinners, ew, what a sucker I was! Don't let this happen to you. End of story, no excuses.
8. Do not, by any means, shape or form, talk about STDs, exes, bad credit or your five bastard children on a first date! This should be common sense.
We all have baggage, I get it, but let the man get to know you first, before unloading it on him. And vice versa. If your date says "ex" every other sentence, then don't bother with him, he is obviously still hung up on her!!
9. Don't put out on the first date.
I work with a guy who was on eharmony and match just to get some action, and guess what?! He got a TON!!!
If you serious about meeting the love of your life, then take it slow. I admit, there are some few and far between cases where one night stands lead to marriages, but what's the hurry? Don't be a victim of my coworker and other guys who are only on the site to get laid, gross.
10. Follow-up.
If you really enjoyed yourself, it's okay to text the guy after the date to let him know. A simple, "thank you, I had fun, we should do it again," lets him know you are interested and puts the ball in his court. DO NOT contact him again after that though, let him contact you! Remember, chivalry doesn't have to be dead just cause your online!
Other "obvious" tips:
Never let him pick you up on a first date. You just met the guy online, please don't give him your address!
Meet in a public place. Let someone know that you are going on a date and where you will be.
Don't be stupid, a stranger is a stranger!
Trey and I a couple of weeks after we met on Match;)
****UPDATE****
My best friend, who is now on Match.com, went to a guys house for the first date. DO NOT DO THIS! They just want to make-out with you!! Plus, he can be a serial killer! Meet in a public place, drive yourself, and tell people where you are going!
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